Yea like finally.. Lols. Finally, I'm in the mood to blog (:
Private up my blog for donkey days due to some domestic issues..
To be frank, I still can't accept that bloody fact that I've lose another kin, my beloved grandmother.
170310. Mum rang me up when I was out with Kris, she was crying while mumbling words and I can't catch
what exactly she's trying to tell me. I calmed her down and she said that uncle called from Indonesia, wanting us
to book the air tickets and fly back as soon as possible. Grandmother was hospitalised and her condition was bad, her immune system was down and she was having difficulties in breathing. My heart sank when I heard mum saying that grandmother's immune system is not working.
Went to the temple and pray, hoping that miracle would appear and tears rolled down during the journey back home. At that point of time, praying was the one and only thing we could do isn't it? We tried calling uncles for umpteen times but none answered. Mum and I packed our luggage and I went online searching for air tickets. Unable to fall in to slumberland, mum and I tossed and turned the whole night until her phone rang at 2am plus. It seems like god wanted us to wait for this call, sending us the news that grandmother had left us. Prayers was not heard, perhaps it's really time for grandmother to leave and crying became the only thing we did the entire morning.
The wake was held in another part of Indonesia, not the place where we are living as grandmother wanted to be there. It is where she grew up and she loved that place very much. Dad also went back with us and it took us almost 7 hours to reach Bengkalis, Indonesia. The house there was occupied by the bird nests my uncle bought and we don't have time to clear the house. Therefore, the wake was held in a place specially for funeral purposes. We had to kneel our way in to the wake and before we stepped out of the car, we are already tearing. Grandmother knew that her time is up but she tried so hard to extend the time just to make sure all the family members are back, yet her wish was not granted. 2 of my cousins was studying U in Taiwan and Jakarta respectively while another cousin of mine was at another part of Indonesia helping out his dad with the bakery business. Being the only daughter of hers, my mum's in Singapore..
No words can describe the pain we're all going through that few days, in fact it should be until now... Life's really full of unexpected surprises, people come and go out of the chapters in our lives. You never know who, you never know when and you never know how. Only when it happens, so sudden and fast that you don't even have time to accept the cruel reality..
People always say this " Cherish your loved ones before regrets ". But exactly who and how many people really know this and cherish their loved ones before they are gone? I can honestly say I'm not. When my grandma left in 08, I told myself that I should start to know this saying and do it. And in 10 which is this year, grandmother left so suddenly. All I can say is this. Knowing that there will be more loved ones leaving me in future, I'd rather end my life now than having more pain and hurt from it....
But what more to say? This is life and experiencing death and embracing ourselves up from it is what everybody in this world have to learn and do. Life still gotta move on after everything's over though the hurt is not over.. I'm really thankful and grateful to friends who encouraged me and cheered me up, thanks much (:
I wanna share with you guys what Qiu Ru told me.
Everyone grows up when they begin to understand abt life.. As u noe any loved one can leave u suddenly, all e more cherish those alive n r still wif u.. We all noe tt u r strong! Stay happy so as to bring happiness to those ard u n dun let them down nor sad.. Jiayou ger!
Let me quote one of her sentences,"Stay happy so as to bring happiness to those around you and don't let them down nor sad.". She's absolutely right, bring happiness to those who are still around and I believe we will be happy too (:
Thanks so much Qiu Ru, you really enlightened me (^_^)
虽然外婆离开了, 但她留下了美好的回忆给我们.
只保留那些美好的快乐回忆就够了..